I really have a problem with women who are easily convinced they are not good at something, without even trying this. Have you ever heard of something like this: “honey, you can’t drive”, “you are not good enough for this”, “you can’t dance, because you’re fat” etc.? Then someone is trying to keep you “down” just because they know you won’t try it.
WHY NOT TRY IT?
When I was 20, I started working as a radio DJ. Sure, all men said it’s not a woman’s job and I won’t make it. 10 years later I am still doing this, pretty well I might add. Same happened with taking Karate lessons and being a good karateka, starting web design and now owning a web design business and a over 30 site network. Sure, most people who dared comment said I won’t make it.
Before you renounce your dreams and hopes, why not do the best thing you can and TRY? There are some things I’d also have in mind:
Why does he/she say I can’t do it?
Maybe he/she is envious, maybe he/she doesn’t know what’s all about. Most people are very good with coming with solutions, especially when they have no idea about the problem. Do the people who try to keep you from doing something new really know you that better? Do they have experience in that area? Are they JUST JERKS?
What do I need to have in mind before starting doing it?
When it comes to driving a car, you need to take lessons and that license. When it comes to starting on a new sport regime, you should try see your doctor first and know you can exercise. Most of the time you’re healthy and there’s no reason not to try it. For a new business venture you need some money and to know that business. Get to reading, get to solving all the problems and then GO FOR IT!
Accept advice, don’t accept negativity.
When someone you know comes with constructive advice and ideas, take it into account, when they just try to tell you once again ‘it’s a lost cause’, just stop talking about it. You need REASONS to know why they think you won’t make it. Try to ask them about these reasons and see how many can actually tell you something real and not realize they don’t have any, just the fact they don’t want you to try. Their not wanting you to try is no reason, so mind your own business and again: DO IT!
And sometimes, it’s true .. you can’t do it.
From all the things I wanted in live some were accomplished and some not. I wanted to be: a teacher, karate instructor, web designer, I wanted to be able to drive a car like a “man” and also work as a radio DJ. I don’t teach (even if I have studied for this for 9 years), because I realized this is not something I’d do. I don’t like working in a class that much, so I just moved on. I won’t be a karate instructor ever, because of my health issues (bad back) and the fact I won’t be able to train as much as I’d need to become more proficient. It’s been a dark day, when I realized this, but now I know. Still, many other things I had in mind now are reality and I am GOOD in all these areas.
I am always happy I DID TRY to accomplish anything I had in mind. Sure, some of the things that were important to me won’t ever be real, but at least I did my best. I never took anyone’s advice that I won’t make it, I knew what I had to do and did it.
Instead of letting others run your life, why not KNOW what you want from it and GO FULL SPEED? Not succeeding is better than knowing you were never this strong to at least try.
Contraception is a very delicate subject for any woman. We leave aside the fact some religions speak against it, we just discuss now about the women who chose to use any birth control methods and the best attitude for this.
I am 30 right now, have been sexually active for more than 10 years (late starter, I know). Number of sexual contacts? Never counted them, still, a lot, normal for a person who’s been into steady relationships all this time. Number of abortions? ZERO!
Tags: sex
When I was 5 my parents asked me “what do you want to be when you grow up?”. A teacher. Then I wanted to be a doctor, then a sports woman and so on. Every time my eyes were caught by something new, I would change my career. It was easy back then since I wasn’t having any.
After finishing the first 8 years of school it came the time to chose a high-school (this is the system in Romania). My folks told me that becoming a primary school or kindergarten teacher would be a pretty good choise: it’s a nice “warm” place, I love kids, I can earn a wage and be able to sustain myself financialy. We were very poor back then and it was a good deal.
I was able to get into the high-school after a grueling set of aptitude exams and the normal set of tests anyone would have to pass. It was hard, but I made it. I had to stay there for 5 years (as compared to the “normal” schools, where the high-school years were just 4).
Dating. A lot of stress, many new people, dinners, kisses, sex. All you do is test the “waters” to see if the new guy is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. There are small exceptions to this, but most of the time, when looking for a date, a woman is also looking for a prospective long term relationship.
And when it comes to more than just a one night stand, a woman thinks about the “perfect” guy and tries to find him in the man she dates. Sure, many women might want the impossible (we all dream about the best looking guy, filthy rich, a genius too, awesome in bad and with great manners) .. what’s wrong with this? Nothing.
Still, when it comes to the regular guys (we don’t meet Prince Charming that easy), it’s important to have lesser expectations, but still know what to look for in him. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: relationship
Slender (even anorexic) women on the cover of the magazines, on the TV, at the Oscars. We all look at their perfect bodies (so we think) and want to be like them. Losing weight has been almost like a mania for a huge percentage of the women, wanting to look just like a movie star.
Before you enter such a life changing regime, let’s try to set the record straight in some aspects you might not know or just wished to ignore.
1. Not all slim women look normal.
Tags: diet, losing weight, weightloss
Our society is changing constantly and old values get replaced fast. Our generation is already battling the old “rules”, just as the other generation before us did the same thing. With a greater emphasis on women’s feelings and lifestyle and more sexual freedom comes a moment when the modern woman wants to have financial independence too.
Relationships are not as strong as they used to be, or at least the new woman doesn’t feel forces to live in an unhappy marriage for instance just “for the sake of the kids” or for fear she’d remain penniless.
We feel it’s normal to ask for more when it comes to our men, we feel it’s normal to be able to just turn and walk away when the relationships gets abusive or we just don’t see ourselves living with our lover or spouse.
This freedom still needs a solid foundation and many women who are still suffering from abuse can’t move away because they cannot support themselves. This is why we ask you: ARE YOU FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT?
Tags: money
Few years ago I found this “word” SAHM (I am not a native English speaker, this would explain why some abbreviations and acronyms are not familiar): Stay At Home Mom, describing women who chose to stay at home to raise the kid(s) and not pursue their career.
I won’t discuss about society still forcing women to dedicate their lives to the family, instead of working as they like, it’s not our topic. There are many women who chose a “family life” and no one is forcing them, most important: THEY ARE HAPPY.
Still, I think some of them would also like to fill in some of the very little time left with something different than housework. Some are entrepreneurs who cannot just be a mom and a wife and need the thrill of earning some money, even if we talk small money here. For them, I have decided to try list some ideas that might help them into creating their own “make money at home” system. Sure, should you have more advice, please let us know.
1. Yes, you can make money by staying at home!
Tags: career, stay at home mom, women business
I recall getting to read this book in its original language (I am Romanian, so getting it in English was a balst) some years ago. A coleague of mine was nice enough to let me read Bridget Jones’s Diary and it was enjoyable.
For the women who are interested in “serious literature” this is just some chick lit that’s not gonna make you use your brains too much, but still it’s a good read for the modern woman.
Bridget is the “normal” woman if you like, the woman living in this society, still “forced” to be a perfect wife/mother but wanting to be something more too. A woman who’s trying to find true love, who wants to have the freedom to get into bed with a guy and still dreams of becoming a married woman eventualy.
Her life is not easy. She’s 33, almost all people her age are or should be married with children, her parents (mother especially) are expecting her to do her “duty” to the society, she’s the paria in most meetings since most relatives/friends are married and she’s still a “spinster”.
Welcome to our Women blogs
Hello, I am Ramona. This is my “brainchild” (love this word) and I am so glad I was able to start it this soon. The idea came to me as I was lying on the beach in Croatia (will blog about this too, don’t worry and surely show you some amazing pictures) with nothing to do, except for turning my belly from one side to another to avoid a serious sun burn.
We already have our Women Only Forums project and I am so fortunate to have known some amazing gals there. This is a “sister” project if you will and we’ll do our best to do something that’s called “cross promotion” on these two. The forums will help our blogs grow and we’ll be able to chat even more about life as a woman on the community, not just these blogs.
The idea of this project is simple: we want to teach women to be sucessful in their lives and also find happiness. No, this is not a community of “gurus” or “wizards”, we are just people who are happy with our lives as women, who already have some life experience and love helping others find their way. You’ll read lots of “empowering” articles and praises for the “strong independent woman”. We don’t ditch the idea of a happy stay at home mom, we don’t even promote extreme ideas such as some feminist concepts. We try to find BALANCE and HAPPINESS and share our experience with you.
We want you to find out that life as a woman is a wonderful thing and that NO ONE has the right to abuse you or hinder your own spiritual growth. Most these ideas are personal, so please see them as that.
Feel free to comment on our articles and share your own experience. It would be amazing to get to know you well.
Tags: women blog